He Loves Me Not
by bluestarlove
Summary: Edand Roy's relationship has gone south, and Ed contemplates how it got this way in the first place, especially because everything had started out so perfectly... Ed and Roy are in Highschool, AU, EdRoy


**Hmmm, its like 4 in the morning. But lately i haven't been able to sleep all that well at night so figured i might as well get this little idea out of my head.**

**Disclaimer: Still don't own FMA.**

"Roy, why would you do this to me? Was I not enough? What did I _do_?" He pushed me onto the bed, and rolled his eyes. "Shut up, ok? Your whining is seriously grating on my nerves." Why was I still with him? It had all started out so innocently…

3 years ago

I felt a shiver race up my spine as he kissed me gently. When he pulled away, he leaned his forehead against mine, whispering sweet words and I melted. All my resolve and reasoning went flying out the window and I moaned as he bit my neck.

He slid a hand under my shirt but I grabbed is wrist and shook my head. "No, Roy, I can't. Just I don't know…Why?"He sighed and pushed away from the wall and paced back and forth in front of me slowly. "What do you mean why? Why do I want to sleep with you? Because I like you, and I've liked you for over a year and you been so all over the place and trying to deal with all your shit so I couldn't be with you. So we're together, and I know you like me, and frankly, you turn me on. Therefore, I want to sleep with you." I shook my head and reached over to him and he wrapped his arms around me. "Why do you want me…I can't figure it out, why would you want to be with me."

He chuckled slightly. "Your hair is like gold, falling over your shoulders, and I love when your bangs are messy and slightly cover your eyes. But not all the way, because I love your eyes… They're beautiful, like liquid amber, and when I saw you crying alone in that classroom that time, I couldn't resist you. You looked so vulnerable and open, and like you needed someone, but you knew nobody was coming. So I held you that day, and let you cry as much as you needed, and I wanted to make you feel like someone cared. Then I realized I did. And as I got closer to you, I began to think of nothing but you and you made me want to smile every time I thought of you I felt my heart warm, and I just started liking you."

I smiled and kissed him long and deep, allowing him entrance to my mouth when his tongue requested.

Our relationship was sweet and gentle, until my parents found out about us.

1 year 10 months ago (from original date)

We stood on my porch, and he leaned down to kiss me. "Edward, what are you doing?" We split apart quickly and I looked at my father, mortified. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me away from Roy. "What do you think you're doing to my son, Roy Mustang? I never liked you, and then you go and do this." I pulled my arm away from my father and stood in front of Roy. "Father, I wanted it." He looked at me, his look of anger, turning into shock and revulsion. "Edward you're confused. He's brainwashed you. I told you not to hang around with scum like him; he only wants to violate you. Now come over here, and listen to the voice of reason." I opened my mouth to speak but Roy interrupted me, "What voice of reason? I didn't force him into anything. I didn't force him into kissing me, and last time when we were fucking, I could swear he was practically begging for it." I turned redder than a tomato, but didn't have time to be stuck in my embarrassment as my father lashed out at Roy. He hit him repeatedly and I yelled at him to stop, desperately grabbing onto my father's arms trying to stop him. I felt my eyes welling up with tears. "Dad, stop please, you're hurting him! I love him. Please, I _love _him…" My dad froze in his actions and slapped me swiftly across the face, and I fell and grabbed my cheek. "You don't know what love is. You only think you love him, but you can't love him. Stop this foolishness at once." My father walked towards the front door and held it open. "Now come inside." I shook my head slowly and stood up. "No." he glared at me and sighed. "Come inside." I shook my head again and held Roy's hand. "No. Not after what you did. Just go inside by yourself. I'm not fucking interested." I didn't bother to wipe away the tears in my eyes as Roy led me to his car.

We didn't talk the whole way back to his house. I just cried into my arm and he occasionally rubbed my back or kissed the side of my head. But when we got inside, all of his kind reassurance was gone and an argument started.

"Ed, you shouldn't have done that. You're going to make things more complicated between us." I looked down at my feet as I sat on his bed, and sighed. "What did you expect me to do? He hurt you; look at that bruise on your cheek! He won't accept the fact that I love you, and he's never been that great of a parent anyway. I love you; I want to be with you." He grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me gently, "Ed, go back home. Why the hell do you keep saying that you love me? You don't love me, you don't understand love yet. I haven't even thought about that yet…how can you be so fucking sure already that you love me?" I pushed him away violently and glared at him.

"You sound like my fucking dad! I love you…I don't know how or why but I just DO. I would die for you, I would kill for you, and I'll be anything you want me to be. I love you, I'll do anything for you." He shook his head and closed his eyes. "Stop, Edward. You don't know what you're saying. I don't want you to get hurt."

"What do you mean? I'm not getting hurt Roy, I need you."

"I don't love you, Ed." I winced at his words, and hugged myself. "Why not, what's wrong with me? What do I have to do? I'll be anything; I'll do anything, just please. I only want you to love me. Roy, please." He looked shocked, but he quickly slipped on a mask and pulled me towards him. "Ed, stop. I'm not a good person. I'll hurt you."

He stripped down to his boxers and got into his bed and beckoned me to follow, I did the same and climbed in next to him. "Roy, is it because I don't let you fuck me enough? I'll let you do whatever you want to me. I'm yours." He squeezed me tightly, and then let me go. "Ed, you're making a mistake…"

And later on, he proved how much of a mistake it was, how much he could hurt me, and make me feel like shit. But I never ran, never fought him. I just let him do whatever he wanted all because I _loved_ him.

The present…

It all led to my current situation, naked on our bed, trying to understand why he had hit me. I gently rubbed my cheek; pretty sure it was going to bruise. "Roy, what happened to us? You used to be so nice to me, and everything was so fucking perfect. Then you changed, you became someone completely different. You put your mask back on and you still don't love me. You don't even try anymore." He looked away and I saw pain flash across his eyes. "Go to sleep, Edward."

** :) Review guys, just click the pretty button, please? If you review, ed gets roylove...**


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